7 Signs You And Your Partner Should Definitely Breakup
You probably clicked on this article for two reasons. One is that you think this is click bait and I have zero clue about what I’m talking about and are looking to troll me and my relationship advice for the entire Internet to see. Two is that you’re in a relationship where you are unhappy or borderline unhappy and want to know if it’s just you that’s feeling this way. If it’s reason one – go home. If it’s reason two – you’re not alone.
I was in several long-term relationships in my life where I overstayed my welcome. Sometimes, there are warning signs and red flags that are right in front of your face – waving in thin air – but you stay because you don’t want to lose something special – comfort. Far too long, people stay in relationships they are severely unhappy in because of being comfortable and, the fear of being alone. For these two reasons, we find ourselves settling – wondering what else is out there and is there someone better suited for me – and yet, we may lose opportunities to meet those someones because we are suffering in our own despair.
There are a lot of tell-tale signs that point to a relationship ending, but, some people don’t want to face the truth. But, when it’s there, there’s no denying it.
1. You’ve lost that loving feeling.
Sure, I just took song lyrics and made it a point – but it’s actually true. When you look at your partner and no longer smile right away or feel that “overcome with emotion” sensation – chances are, you’re falling out of love with them. You want to look at them less and when they come home from work – it’s just “whatever.” The more you fall out of love, the less love you will feel. We all know how it feels to look at someone we are in love with. We laugh, we get giddy, we smile and we become hot and bothered (sometimes). But, when you feel indifferent towards them, you’re going to begin to resent them eventually. Their qualities you once loved will become flaws and sooner or later – you’ll hate yourself for not ending it.
2. You two are no longer intimate.
S3x is not everything in a relationship – but it is important. If your needs are no longer being met and you two barely make it into the bedroom other than to sleep, that’s a major red flag. When you’re young and in love with someone, you should normally want to jump their bones – not always, but most of the time. Being young – before a family – is the time you’re supposed to cherish the freedom you have. Before you know it, you’re married with a baby sleeping in a crib next to your bed.
Even little things in relationships – like kissing, making out – even holding hands. If these aspects are slowly fading away, it’s a sign of a larger issue. Maybe you two are no longer physically attracted to each other anymore – and, that’s okay, but – own up to it.
3. You don’t depend on them for support anymore.
When you’re in a relationship with someone, they’re usually one of the top people you go to for important things in life. This is anything from good news, to needing advice, to emotional support and other life issues. But, if you no longer feel the need to turn to them for your needs emotionally – and you rely on others more than you rely on them – what does that say about the overall emotional well-being of your relationship? Obviously, it’s not looking too go.
4. You look for reasons to fight – subconsciously.
No one wants to fight all of the time, but when you don’t want to be with someone and you know for a simple fact you are settling, whether it be consciously or subconsciously – you begin to resent them. When you start to resent someone, you start picking fights because everything they do bothers you.
The things you once thought were adorable will no longer be adorable and instead, be the subject for blow outs every single day. It’s toxic to stay in a relationship that is built upon fighting.
5. Everyone around you is concerned.
If your friends and family are pointing out their concerns for you and you being in this relationship, it’s because they know you and know you are not yourself. Maybe they’ve witnessed behavior from your partner that they don’t like or respect. Maybe they can tell you’re not yourself and are more depressed than ever. Whatever the case may be – if your support team is looking at you with puppy-dog eyes and know deep down that something is off – something is probably off.
6. You’d rather spend time without them than with them.
I am a firm believer that too much time with someone is never a good thing. In any relationship – even healthy ones – partners should always spend time apart. If not, you’ll go insane. Space is healthy and normal in a relationship – I think it’s unhealthy to spend every single waking moment of your life with someone.
But, if you would rather do just about anything than see your partner, that’s a huge problem. You should have a solid, equal sharing time in your life for yourself and your relationship. No relationship should hinder your independence, friendships or family – so, as long as you have enough time for them – you should have enough time for your partner, too. Yet, if you start to feel seeing everyone else is better than seeing your partner – that’s a big problem.
7. You can’t stop focusing on what they don’t have.
No one in life is perfect and Prince Charming and Cinderella only exist in fairy tales. No partner is going to have every single thing you want or need from someone – but, they should have just about enough to make you happy. If you find yourself constantly focusing on what they don’t have and how they don’t treat you – chances are it’s time to find someone else. Not only is it unfair to yourself – as you’re selling yourself short – it’s unfair to your partner, too.
I’m sure there are people out there who will think their qualities are great or enough – because, everyone has different needs. Don’t ruin your life or theirs by pretending it’s enough for you when it’s just not.